Al Gore's New Career: Comedy

Al Gore's excuse for "do as I say, not as I do" energy consumption, his so called "carbon offsets," continues to yield brilliant comedy dividends. While this is no doubt embarrassing to the extreme for Gore to end up as such an obviously naked emperor on this one, I think there could be silver lining in the form of a career writing political satire for him.

In today's edition of the Wall Street Journal, in the Journal Exchange section, two letters to the editor appeared that demonstrate the bright future Gore would have if he took my advice and went into comedy writing.

The first submission reads:

"Use 'Energy Offsets' And Feel Good Again

Your March 1 editorial "An Inconvenient Pool" concerning Al Gore's "carbon offset" for his heated swimming pool raises an intriguing question. Since I can afford, for example, a heated pool, but do not have one, can I claim an "offset" for the energy I am therefore not using? I do not use private jets for travel, either, which would appear, by Mr. Gore's logic, to be another way I am helping protect the planet. In fact, there are so many ways in which I am not consuming the energy that I could be, I sense an economic opportunity. Perhaps I could sell my energy off-sets to Mr. Gore to help ease his conscience a little. I will await his call.

-- Charles McCoy
Cincinnati"

I love it! Let's all start totaling up the different ways that we could consume energy, but do not, and start selling the resulting ecological plenary indulgences to eco-nuts with guilty consciences!

The second submission on this topic reads:

"I'm planning to trademark and copyright the term: "Carbon Indulgence." I'm also contemplating a Web site and a 501(c)3 so rich people like Al Gore can send me money so I can put up solar panels and continue to heat my house with wood that grows on my own property outside my door.

-- Phil Fuhlman
Exeland, Wis."

I think I like this idea even more than the first, since we get to follow Gore's model: continue to contribute to the problem you rail against (after you concoct the problem, of course), meanwhile buying a "solution" to the "problem" that pays you back. Only in this case, Gore and others like him can demonstrate their commitment to the cause by purchasing offsets for the rest of us who can't afford the lifestyle Gore demands of everyone else. Here's your opportunity to lead from the front, Al! I'll send you the dimensions of the roof of my house soon.