Politics from the Palouse to Puget Sound

Thursday, June 12, 2008

ALERT: Manhunt Under Way

MOSCOW--Palouse County authorities have issued a statewide alert under the new "Cuckoo's Nest Law" asking citizens to provide information about the whereabouts of fugitive Michael Costello.

Asked about the reason for this search, Palouse County sheriff Bubba Broomkevitch said that Costello poses a distinct danger to himself and others. When asked why, Broomkevitch said, "The man is certifiably insane, a maniac."

When pressed for details, the sheriff noted that Costello recently tried to engage WSU "professor" John Streamas in discourse.

"This is an open-and-shut case," said Broomkevitch. "Anyone who is crazy enough to try to elicit rational discourse from 'professor' Streamas clearly should be locked in a padded cell."

Broomkevitch went on to urge the public to remain calm. "Costello is armed with a rapier wit and should be approached with extreme caution."

When reached for comment, Costello's attorney, who wished to remain anonymous, agreed. "Costello needs to be locked up for his own welfare, and his family should immediately petition the court for full power of attorney over his affairs. What in the hell was he thinking when he tried to engage in discourse with 'professor' Streamas? It's madness."

Recently, Costello was part of an exchange with "professor" Streamas about a Washington law barring the use of the word "Oriental" in official government documents.

A local clinical psychologist, who also wished to remain anonymous, noted that attempting to engage in discourse with a man who makes his living by being angry and bitter is a clear sign of mental imbalance. "The so-called 'professor' teaches the politics of victimization. Clearly, as a tenured 'professor' at a Pac-10 university, swilling from the public trough, Streamas is a victim of unspeakable bigotry. Accordingly, he has memorized all the slogans of victimization, and remains enamored not only the cliches of his ideology but with the sound of his own voice. There are, however, medications Costello can take to deal with this syndrome."

Authorities urge Costello to turn himself in and get treatment. Broomkevitch is making a public appeal. "Mike, for the love of God, get help. Stop the madness. Don't encourage 'professor' Streamas."

3 comments:

Michael said...

In my own defense, I’d like to point out that this exchange of letters occurred 6 years ago and I had never before heard of the moronic John Streamas. One thing I learned from the encounter is that Herr Streamas is far out of his element when he has to deal with someone on equal footing. He had no means of bullying or intimidation at his disposal in our exchange as he has in his classroom. After I told him that his nonsensical, ideologically inspired etymology of the word “oriental” was BS, he tremblingly retreated into his cocoon of anti-whiteyism and never pestered me again.

Nevertheless, I will take this manhunt seriously and, if anyone can tell me where Palouse County is, I’ll take care to steer clear of its jurisdiction.

Tom Forbes said...

*LOL* The two Michaels together!! Palouse County will never be the same!

Keim said...

Michael:

I believe Palouse County is located near Bloom County.

If we get any more June snow, I wouldn't even be surprised to see Opus walking around.