Politics from the Palouse to Puget Sound

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Patty the Parasite

While most of our Congressmen and Congresswomen are lawyers, there is probably no better preparation for the job than the study of parasitology. At least one author has made the case that parasites are actually at the top of the animal kingdom. He reasoned that, once established on or in a host, the parasite lives a life of leisure while the host becomes little more than the parasite’s slave. Whereas politicians present themselves as humble servants of their constituencies, the truth is that their service they give us is barely distinguishable from the service given by a tapeworm.

To be successful, a parasite must have at its disposal all the machinery to grip tightly to its host and to siphon off what it needs. Parasites have grown so successful at living off hosts that have dispensed with all superfluous tissues required by free living organisms, such as muscles and nerves. The typical parasite has no brains. There is no such thing as a clever, calculating parasite. In fact, once the parasite established itself in its host, the parasite permits its nervous system and musculature to simply atrophy away as it settles into a life of absorbing nutrients from its host. In other words, the life cycle of the parasite closely resembles the political career of Senator Patty Murray.

It is past time for Washington’s immune system to expel Patty Murray from the Senate. Or to put it more broadly, America needs a change from politicians like Patty Murray if there is ever to be any hope for change. In her 18 years in the Senate, Patty Murray has grown to represent the very worst of our ruling class.

Never the sharpest knife in the drawer, Patty Murray was a natural for the occupation of political parasitism.  Patty Murray’s political career began when her career as community college teacher ended in failure. She took her degree in “Leisure Studies” and when it became clear that she was not up to teaching a class in “parenting” at a junior college, she attached herself to the United States treasury and allowed her political operation to operate on autopilot.

During her reign of mediocrity, Patty Murray has assembled a machine that funnels taxpayer dollars, in the form of pork barrel spending, to political supporters who gratefully repay a portion of their take into her political campaign coffers.

Patty Murray’s senate office has served as an internship program for future lobbyists who use their access to Murray to gain big government contracts that enrich themselves and stuff bucks back to Murray. Seventeen former Murray staffers are now K Street lobbyists. And these former staffers have shown their gratitude by making Patty Murray the second largest recipient of lobbyist campaign contributions. Only the execrable Harry Reid (D-Dimlight) rakes in more cash from lobbyists than Patty Murray.

Harry Reid and Patty Murray are both outstanding examples that simple minds, when combined with an unprincipled ambition, can assemble powerful political machines that reward allies and generate enough campaign cash to purchase re-election ad infinitum. Neither of these people is especially bright, as evidenced by their mutual incapacity to speak extemporaneously. Unshielded by their praetorian guard, and off script, both are prone to utter inanities that would embarrass the average 12 year old. And even when Patty Murray reads from prepared remarks, her speechwriters are careful to omit polysyllabic words and complex sentences that she might stumble over.

It’s not easy to fail as a community college teacher. For someone so incompetent in the real world to fail in an almost fail-proof job and then rise to become the fourth ranking Democrat in the United States Senate should tell you all that need to know about the skill set required to succeed in politics. It only requires a senator who is willing to give her office over to sub-parasites who know how to trade favors for cash without crossing the blurry line into flagrant illegality. The knowledge that a few years of service to the über-parasite is all the resumé enhancement needed to move up into the more enriching job as a lobbyist ensures that even a dimwit will have a steady supply of talented sub-parasites willing to work hard to guarantee their future benefactor’s success.

To fight parasites, hosts must possess an immune system that can be “educated” to respond to parasitic invasions. Our immune system is the ballot box. Consider yourself educated.

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